This post is nothing but a rant. The text you’re reading appeared in my mind. They say if you seek, you shall find and that’s what I’m doing, and I call it a grind.
Many thoughts come and go throughout the day but only the ones I choose to focus on will grow. Most of the time I’m productive (at least I want to think so) but other times it’s hard to focus on productive things and I want to just lay back, smoke a joint, and relax. It has become a habit, a way to reward myself for something I’ve done, although I could do a lot more.
Am I subconsciously slowing myself down because deep down I’m afraid of the success I might experience? Or am I just tired of working in the wrong direction? Those are the questions I regularly ask myself. What answers do I get? The only one is that I should just do the work and stop worrying about what happened yesterday.
Every day offers me (and you) an opportunity. The rest depends on us, whether we choose to use it to create something out of nothing or recycle something someone else has created. Today I chose writing as my way to the top. Will I ever reach it? I doubt it. What matters is the path and whether or not I enjoy it.
I didn’t write for more than a week because I wasn’t home and when I’m somewhere else, it’s hard for me to be as active as when I can walk naked around my flat. Writing is my passion but I need the freedom to do it. I spent last week with my colleagues from work in a summer camp. It was a great experience but I missed my home, and I missed you.
Now that I’m back, you’ll hear more from me in the coming days. Peace, love, and gratitude. That’s my favorite attitude.